Preparation is Key. Oh, and Cauliflower.

So there's one topic that everyone should be prepared for no matter what.

The Zombie Apocalypse.

The problem is people really like zombies for some reason. I mean let's go google it...

And the verdict is:
--zombie games
--are zombies real
--zombie pictures
--zombie music
--zombie survival

That's the first five autofillin answers and of those only one is seriously concerned about zombies. Three are blatant plugs for zombie-lovers. And the last one is some poor, confused soul who has yet to realize the importance of his question.

Zombies are not your friends. I mean let's face it...

You love zombies.

Zombies love you too.

You're delicious.

So, I think the key here is to be prepared. Nothing works better than just being prepared. I'd make sure you have enough food for at least a few months if not a year or so. And enough ammo for that time period is always a good idea. And maybe a shovel. Just saying.

In the end though, I'd say that cauliflower is a pretty good thing to keep on hand. I mean zombies aren't very smart (I'm going to take a wild guess and say it has to do with someone trying to eat their brain, but who really knows?). And cauliflower kind of looks like brains.

See what I mean? It's almost disconcerting to see the similarities. Take this one for example...

I mean it's almost magical what a little food coloring can do to a cauliflower. 

So, keep an eye out for any strange behavior amongst the neighbors, buy some heavy firepower, zombie-proof the house, plant a garden full of cauliflower and I think you'll weather the zombie apocalypse just fine. 

Hi, I'm Indignant, What's Your Name?

So, I have zero awesome ways to lure you into reading this so instead I'll tell you what I'm doing right now.

I'm listening to Florence & the Machine...

...and eating chocolate pudding.

So now that you're all jealous, let me tell you what I was doing 30 minutes ago...listening to the "speeches" people gave to be elected for Hall Governing Board for the dorms. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh boy. So now that you're not jealous, I'll proceed to the body paragraph. :)

Those "speeches" were the exact reason we have presidents like we do now. They got up and they were well-known and "popular" and they promised amazing things (like more free things and free food and lots of activities). The people who got up and said smart things about what leaders should be like and what they wanted it to be like for everyone--things that were realistic and not half stand-up comedy--were barely recognized.

And so who did they elect? The one who promised everything.

If I had run for HGB (which I had absolutely no desire to do whatsoever) my speech would've gone something like this:

"You've heard some interesting things tonight and I'm here to tell you that if I'm elected as floor president all of your wildest dreams will not come true. I'll work hard and I'll do my best to get whatever we want or need, but there's only so much money in this program and just because someone promises you something doesn't mean you'll get it--especially not if they're standing on the soapbox. So you can vote for whoever you like, but I'd ask you to consider what you're really voting for--popularity or potential?"

Or something to that effect.

I wouldn't have won. I would've offended most of the other candidates and most of their friends. I wouldn't have cared. If they want to be offended that's their problem.

I don't really have any plans for this blog. I just thought it was an interesting real life situation. A stupid example with important consequences as my calc 2 professor would say.
                                         
How to we treat our own elections?

You know, the ones that decide who's going to make the important decisions, the ones that decide the future, the ones that elect men and women who will break promises--it's just a matter of figuring out which ones they'll break most easily.

Modern Day Slavery

This post will definitely be killing two birds with one stone although that might make it a bit long. Pretty much since the founding of this blog I've been looking for an opportunity to write about welfare and in the past few months I've also wanted to write about taxes and our tax system. I've never really found the right time, the right words, and especially the right hook (no pun intended though now that I've noticed the pun I kind of like it) to make it a genuine Allison post. :D :D :D Which is of course the only reason you all read this.

But finally, FINALLY!, I've found the perfect hook. And it comes from a most unexpected angle and that angle happens to be slavery.

One-hundred and fifty years ago, the Civil War was fought to end slavery in America. About fifty years ago, the civil rights movement worked to help remove the last vestiges of slavery in the form of discrimination. However, there is still slavery among us today and it's more widespread then you'd think.

There are those among us who have found the perfect way to enslave us the vast majority of us. There are evil people in the world, it's as simple as that, and they know exactly how to work the system.

The rich among us, whatever you may feel about them, are in bondage to our current tax system. The government has stifled not only their right to enjoy a capitalistic society, but also their right to be treated as equals. They are in bondage to the taxes that are leveled against them.

Today I'm feeling blunt so I'm just going to throw it out there...I don't care for people who think the rich should be taxed more because they make more. It's not right. They earned that money. This is supposed to be a capitalistic society and there's nothing wrong with making money. When that money is taken and given to others in the name of taxes or welfare or "fairness" that's just another word for socialism. And last time I checked, we live in America.

The poor are also enslaved as much as, if not more than, the rich. Enslaved, in fact, by the very people who claim to be their advocates and protectors. Welfare is nothing more than an elaborate trap. When people have things given to them as handouts it destroys their desire to work for anything. Who among us would choose to work when we could receive things for "free"? With a little nudge from the government, these people have given away their right to the pursuit of happiness.

When the poor give up their desires to better themselves--to become more productive, more educated, more self-reliant--they have given up any potential they had to become better citizens as well. They have become, for the most part, nothing more than a mass of people, no, less than people, a mass of things, of voters, that can be swayed by any politician willing to help them continue their indolent lifestyle.

I know I'm probably being really offensive to some, but I'm tired of people dancing around the answers or trying to be diplomatic. I'd rather have things shown to me the way they really are, not sugarcoated or disguised.

Now, I'm just going to suppose that the vast majority of us are middle class citizens. Most people are. And so you've read this and maybe you're indignant or maybe you're ready to change the world, but you're probably thinking "I'm free!" (well maybe not exactly that but you probably think you've escaped the bondage I'm portraying in this post). Well not to break your hearts of anything but you didn't escape. You've been caught as well in either one of two things (or maybe a combination of both): indifference or apathy. Now not all people have this problem, but I even find myself lapsing from my usual political fieriness (super side note, but can you believe that's actually a word? I totally had to look it up in the dictionary to make sure I wasn't just making up words again).

Most of the people I know who are my age, the rising generation, couldn't care less about politics or anything that's happening and most of them really know next to nothing about our government or how our country is run. My high school government class was a joke and I've never met anyone who really learned anything in theirs either.

Those of an older generation are sick of it. People only care when something drastic happens. It's like the last presidential election. The percentage of voters went up drastically but not because of any political reawakening but merely because of race, because of how "history" would perceive this "historic" event.

Today I have no moral for you, no call to awaken, no call to arms. If you can't figure out what I'm saying then that's that. But I do have a question...I know that I try to tone down my articles with humor and/or sassiness (and for the record that one isn't a real word), but if I was to write an article that was purely factual (it'll be cited and everything!) would you still be interested? Your feedback would be greatly appreciated! :D :D :D

Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today

Well, there's officially only one week until my summer is over. And in honor of that, I'm going to ask you all to indulge me and my "poor-me" attitude for awhile.

Lately, a whole plethora of people I know are getting married. It feels like I can't get on facebook with seeing another relationship status proclaiming that yet another one of my friends is engaged.

And to be honest, the whole business really freaks me out.

I'm just a kid. End of story. I mean I still have the urge to build blanket forts and jump on my bed, for goodness sake! And yet I know a whole bunch of people who are roughly my age and they heading off to the land of matrimony.

Maybe they just feel older than I do but I'm quite content to be single for a very long time. Because I'm pretty sure that anyone that finds the idea of themselves in a wedding dress completely laughable is not ready by a loooooong shot to get married.

Oddly, I'm not feeling very long-winded today, I just felt that you might like an update into the convoluted contraption that is my mind, so I'll free you from my ravings considerably earlier than usual. Consider yourselves lucky :) Oh! And bonus points if you get the title...

Words Cannot Describe How Stupid This Post Is...Although the Title Might Be A Clue

Okay, first off, I'm really sorry that I've kind of disappeared off the face of the planet. Have you ever had one of those days (read weeks) where life is like, "That one's not drowning yet!" and decides to add about 17 more tons of water to your already flooded life? Welcome to the last two weeks of my life. No big deal though...I can swim. :D :D :D

Anyways, just a warning, this is probably going to be a super hodge-podge of a post because well that's the way my brain works when I'm too lazy to organize it.

First off, I'd recommend you go see Cowboys and Aliens because it freaking rocked. But if you're kind of faint-hearted and/or jumpy, I'd go with someone who can provide some sort of comfort whether that be legitimate "you're not alone" comfort or just laughing at you so you feel like you have to man-up a little bit (guess which kind of movie-going companions I had...). Either way it was amazing. It had a good pace and a great storyline, nice special effects, a few surprises, and, luckily, only one or two hokey scenes. Oh, and, if you're willing to indulge my shallowness for a moment, Daniel Craig is super hot. Like supermegafoxyawesomehott. So go see it.

This is fine example of manhood. Also please note the vest. Vests are sexy. And the firearm doesn't hurt anything.

And now on to the business end of things: Why can't people drive?

Every time I get into the driver's seat of a car I recognize my potential to kill, or at least injure, someone. Car beats person pretty much every time. It's as simple as that. And yet what have I seen this week?

1. Driving to work at 6 am and there's a guy in the lane next to me who quite literally has the newspaper on his steering wheel and is reading it.

2. Approximately 7382 people texting or talking on their phones. Oh, and driving poorly. What a surprise! Not.

3. A frik-ton of people who don't seem to understand basic driving rules. Such as staying between the dotted lines, not crossing three lanes of traffic to get to your exit in rush hour (with no signal to boot), and who has the right-of-way, etc. etc. etc...

I mean maybe I just expect too much out of people, but a bit more common sense and a bit less general rudeness would be super appreciated.

Sorry this kind of turned into a rant...that's one of the reasons I haven't written. I've been in a slightly foul mood with people in general because everyone is acting like they've been eating lead paint.

But, to wrap things up, people had better shape-up their driving skills or I'm going to buy a tank and then all hell is going to break loose. :)

And yes, I will have a gunner.