The Death of a Friendship

I had an interesting experience this week. And by interesting, I mean it feels like someone has taken a meat tenderizer to my heart. A friend of mine posted on Facebook that they would be blocking any “friend” (their quotation marks, not mine) who was voting for Trump this election. Normally I ignore political posts on Facebook (as part of my continuing resolve to not argue with people online), but I was really hurt by the insinuation that because we would vote differently I was no longer a real friend and I commented saying so. I expected a disagreement, but I didn’t even get that. I just got blocked. Several years of friendship ended with apparent ease on their part and a not insignificant amount of shock on mine. 

This blog has been dormant for over eight years, but this situation has put so many thoughts in my head and feelings in my heart that I’ve resurrected a thing that was probably better off dead. This isn’t the first Facebook post I’ve seen implying that a person who votes differently is no longer a friend and each of those posts has a host of comments celebrating the poster's rejection of those no-longer-friends. And I’ll be honest, it really chafes. When I see a political post I disagree with, I scroll past it (groundbreaking, I know). I might roll my eyes if it’s an overly dramatic rant or get kind of irritated if it’s a heavily biased article, but what I do not say or post or even think is that the person who posted it is somehow less of a friend. 

Now I feel the need to clarify...I understand that some people don't want to see so many (or any) political posts on social media. But there is a huge difference between unfollowing someone for the political season for your peace of mind and unfriending or blocking someone because you can't stomach seeing a different opinion than yours in your personal echo chamber. 

I would never vote Biden/Harris because our principles don't align, but when I see friends that do support them, I understand why because I know those friends well enough to see what’s important to them. In some cases, I may disagree with their underlying principles or think their reasoning for voting that way is illogical, but that doesn’t preclude me from understanding their viewpoint. And if I don’t get it and want to know, I’ll ask. Personally, I don’t see that same courtesy being extended to people like me. If you can’t fathom why anyone would vote Trump/Pence this election, then you need to try to understand. And the same goes for the other way around. If you're voting Trump/Pence (or Jorgensen/Cohen or anyone else) and can't understand one reason why a friend would vote Biden/Harris (or Jorgensen/Cohen or anyone else), you need to do a little self-reflection on what it means to be a friend. 

I look at the news and the comments and the social media posts and I see a world that labels me. Because I vote conservative, I’m a bigot, a racist, a white supremacist, a Nazi, a science-denier, a woman-hater, an ignorant, backwards, uncompassionate fool. And people say those things while they set houses on fire for daring to put up Trump signs and attack old men and teenagers for daring to wear a MAGA hat. But I’m not a label. I’m a real person with real convictions and principles and beliefs. If you can’t understand why anyone would ever vote Trump/Pence, then you’re part of the reason he won in 2016 and you’re part of the reason why I think he’ll win again in 2020. 

To bring this back to a smaller scope, if you can’t understand one single reason why I personally would vote for Trump this election (when-for the record-I didn’t even vote for him last election...and no, I didn’t vote for Hilary either), then you simply don’t understand me very well. And you should try because I am someone who considers you a friend no matter how different our political views may be. No one should have to choose between political self-censure and the understanding of people who are supposed to be their friends. My hope for anyone reading this is that regardless of your political views you would try to understand someone different from you a little better. And if after reading this you are merely angry, then I would say you need to spend a little less time focusing on politics and a little more time focusing on being a decent human being. 

It's the End of the World As We Know It

And I'll admit I'm a little ticked off.

For starters, this has been the worst week of probably my entire college career, if not my life. So in reality I probably shouldn't be blogging because I have a propensity to be even more of a jerk when it's been a tough week (who'd have thunk?), but I just can't help myself.

Mayor/Dictator Bloomberg of New York City and his lovely Health Board have officially passed a soda ban. In New York City it is no longer legal to sell "sugary drinks" over 16 oz. And the darling dictator himself had the audacity to say, "This is the single biggest step any city, I think, has ever taken to curb obesity. It's certainly not the last step that lots of cities are going to take, and we believe that it will help save lives".

You've got to be freaking joking me.

And to make matters even better, public opinion was pretty much thrown out the window because it's New York City and it's not like that in America or anything. Most polls, even in liberal NYC, showed that about 2/3 of people opposed the ban.

And there you have it folks.

The precedent has officially been set. Not only can the government now tell people to buy health insurance which is a bit less understood and a great many more faceted, now they can tell us what we can or can't drink outside the comfort of our homes. Not that Michelle hasn't already been working on that.

Next thing you know they'll put the soda companies out of business all in the name of the greater good. Oh and also because they despise anyone who makes a profit, but that's a whole other topic.

Here in the middle of the nation, I'm sure it'll take a little bit longer but this is the beginning of the end of individual rights as we've always understood them.

"Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities (and the smallest minority on earth is the individual)." --Ayn Rand, Collectivized Rights, June 1963

Connecting the Dots

Every once in a while, I have some free time and I get to sit down and think about things. More often than not, however, I just can't sleep for thinking. And one of the things that has left me sleepless lately is connecting the dots. Take this picture for example:

Unless you have some connect the dots super power, you probably have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to be. But if we zoom out a little, we get this: 

Which while still not the greatest picture, might be a little bit more clear with some time and imagination. If we connect the dots, however, we get this little masterpiece: 

Which is quite the doozy and not nearly as good as the original, but pretty freaking impressive if you remember that it's a connect the dots puzzle. 

So what, you are most certainly asking, does this have to do with any of the opinionated things I'm usually spouting about? Well, just everything. 

In some of my late night ponderings, I've come to some conclusions that in hindsight should have been obvious, but because of the way a mind works seemed to be massive revelations instead of common sense. 

Living in the lovely situation that I do (aka the dorms of drunkenness), I have the opportunity to observe people in what I like to think of as their natural habitat. The people I live with will, as I've so often heard, be the future of our country. This is a bit terrifying especially when you realize that they're supposed to be learning skills to help them be useful members of society (I can't say with any sort of experience but I feel that might be hard when you're inebriated at least 40% of the week). 

But, I also think it goes beyond the current drunkenness of my classmates. Maybe it's because my generation has been spoon-fed and coddled entirely too much to develop the cognitive skills necessary to make connections. Maybe we're just lazy. Whatever the case is, I see a growing trend in peoples' inability to connect various topics and actions to one another. 

I could make any number of cases, but I might as well just throw my "John Hancock" out in the open. The trend that I first noticed is the trend between the growing idea of "free love" and the degradation of the family unit. Now, not being hippies, no one actually refers to it as free love anymore, but many have this view that it's their body, their life, and they're not hurting anyone. 

I would beg to differ on every single one of those feeble and juvenile defenses, but I think I can make a better case by working the angle of connecting the dots. Right from the beginning you have to realize that I'm starting with a premise that most of society already rejects: that the family is an important--no, vital--unit in society, the building block of human civilization as a whole, instituted and upheld by God. 

What makes a family different from other groups of people? Some would say it's biology, but that wouldn't explain marriage relationships or adoption. Families transcend other groups because of the sacrifice necessary to support one. 

Being a member of a family means that you are going to give up things that you might want for things that are better. You--no--I will give up my time, I will give up my worldly wealth, I will give up "getting my way" for this little thing called a family. There is a good chance that I will give up traveling the world or buying a fancy car or getting to eat out whenever I want for staying at home and taking care of those dear children that I may someday have the opportunity to be blessed with, making dinner, cleaning up, chauffeuring (but not in a minivan--I do let myself have some dignity), compromising with my husband. These things hold so much more happiness than a career or wealth or fame could ever offer. 

So here's what's really bothering me...that great mass that we'll call "society" has the idea that it doesn't matter who you give yourself to. Aside from being detrimental to your health and rather foolish, this very idea undermines the institution of the family. The marriage relationship is not something to be shared by a couple of half-drunk college kids. It's not something to be shared with a stranger met on the street a few hours before. That view removes the importance of a family. 

You cannot say on one hand that you want to be married someday and have a family and on the other hand live your life as a selfish person who chases after their lusts with no sense of restraint. That selfishness works against the very epitome of family life and will not lead to any sort of happiness. If you couldn't control yourself before marriage, what difference will it make after a person is married? 

Divorce is through the roof, as is the disease that comes from that kind of life. The family is under attack. There are really no other words for it. If we are not living in a way that's preparing us for families then what will those families be like? What will happen to society if the family becomes an antiquated tradition of the past? No one thinks, no one connects the dots. People are too busy being selfish to look past themselves. 

I know a lot of the people who read this aren't members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints like I am, but this quote by the apostle Neal A. Maxwell has always meant so much to me:

When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sounds of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside of telestial time. The women of God know this. 

No wonder the men of God support and sustain you sisters in your unique roles, for the act of deserting home in order to shape society is like thoughtlessly removing crucial fingers from an imperiled dike in order to teach people to swim.

What will it be? If a person thinks they can do more in society than they can in their home then there are sadly mistaken. If one thinks that their desires and lusts are more important than the sacrifice of a family and the preparation that that takes then the chance of another broken or dysfunctional home will be that much greater. It's time to start connecting the dots and not just on this subject, but on so many others. I can't walk around blindly and I don't know how anyone else stands to do it. Open your eyes and make an effort because these things are worth fighting for.

I suppose this isn't very upbeat for my first blog post in almost two months, but I'm sure some of you have missed me enough to forgive me. I'll write again before the week's out, so you can always hope. :D

I Have Fantasmagorical News!

It's my blog's birthday!!! One year ago today, I published my first article under the "critical young" alias. I don't really have much to say, but I just wanted to thank all of you lovely readers and give you a gift. Although it may end up being one of those gifts that you push to the back of the hall closet and hope the giver never asks about...

This year at school, I'm taking a history of jazz class. It's amazing to say the least, but it has also presented me with an opportunity. We are required to make a portfolio on some topic of our choosing related to jazz AND it has to be on blogspot.

So I have a new blog.

Which makes me about as happy as this cat.

And as excited as this turtle. 

Which is pretty dang excited. 

So I just wanted to let you all know. My new blog is called Trading Fours and it's located at the URL here: 

http://swayingonthetwoandfour.blogspot.com/

So enjoy if you want and if not that's okay too. Happy Birthday Blog! 

And So I Bear Witness

Thursday, January 12th

It's not a day that will live in infamy. If I'm honest I'd already forgotten the date and just looked it up for the sake of keeping an accurate record.

It was a Thursday. It was the last week of Christmas break. I had gotten up and gotten ready for the day and decided to check my Facebook and was abruptly confronted by a video entitled "Mormons vs Epic Black Guy".

(Now I refuse to post that video on my blog. If you want to watch it go to youtube. If you can't find it I'll send you a link.)

And I couldn't help myself. I had to know even though I knew it would probably upset me and make me doubt the decency of humanity. So I did and it was as expected. Except worse. And then I read the comments and that made it doubly worse.

A few examples of the comments were: "Amen! This pumped me up so much I wanted to go run thru a brick wall! haha" "Ahhhhh man I just got hyped! I can't wait till I'm strong enough in my faith to conquer like this!!!! Man! GOD IS GOOOOOOOOOD!" "Great way to to start the day! Better than a cup of coffee!" "just hit y'all with some knowledge"

And then I looked at the likes. And recognized people I'm facebook "friends" with. And then I wasn't angry. I was just depressed.

I won't talk religion. I won't argue who's right. Because in the end that's not what this is about. It's about indecency--the indecency of both the "epic" black guy and these facebook "friends" of mine.

First, let's discuss the "epic" black guy and let's disband with that long and awkward phrase and just call him Mr. "Epic". For me this is an easier topic to approach. It's someone taking a stance against The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's nothing new; I've been dealing with that particular situation since middle school, if not earlier.

The problem with Mr. "Epic" is that he's under the misconception that picking a fight with the missionaries makes him some warrior of God or something (and if you don't think he was trying to pick a fight then you tell me why he and his buddies were standing around with a video camera and a soapbox speech ready for action).

The comments tell us that "God is good". This is true. But God is also love. And that man had nothing but contempt and hatred for those young men. He tries to excuse his actions by using logic and scriptures and repeatedly cutting off the missionaries. In short, he tries to "bible bash" to use the catchy colloquial.

And here's the thing: missionaries don't "bible bash". They share their message with those that want to hear it and in situations like this they answer questions no matter how aggressively asked until it cannot be called a discussion any longer and then they try to extract themselves from the situation as nicely as possible. Maybe you call that losing, but I don't.

And one more word of support for those missionaries: Those young men give up two years of their lives--no family, no dating, no TV or video games or most music, no parties, no school, just proselyting. Beyond that they deal with people who hate them day in and day out--they are yelled at, they are threatened, doors are slammed in their faces. And yet they continue--without shouting, without raging, without bible bashing.

Contention is of the devil. The scriptures say so. Those scriptures that both you and I hold so dear.

Old Testament: "A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes" --Proverbs 18:6

New Testament: "But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God" --1 Corinthians 11:16

Even the Book of Mormon (though I understand that this book means nothing to you): "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another" --3 Nephi 11:29

Now to the second indecency. Let's talk about my facebook "friends". Actually, let's talk about me.

Really, I am not a Mormon. "Mormon" is a nickname. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, my Savior. I know they live. I know that Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane to bring about the Atonement that through his sacrifice we can be saved after all we have done to save ourselves. I believe that the Bible is the word of God. I also believe the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I believe in continuing revelation--that I can pray to God and he will answer me. I believe in prophets from Adam to Abraham to Joseph Smith. I believe in serving and loving my fellowmen. I know that by serving others and by loving them that I will be more able to follow in the footsteps of my Redeemer, even Jesus Christ.

I understand that there are differences between my religion and other religions. What I don't understand is why you don't see the similarities. My church is not to be hated because of our differences but rather, if not accepted, at least not actively sought out to be despised. We both claim to be following Jesus Christ. That similarity should be enough.

I'll conclude with one final point: I am not Allison, who happens to be a "Mormon". I'm a "Mormon". I am a Latter-Day Saint. If you have a problem with my church, then you either have a problem with me or you don't understand because I do my best to emulate the attributes of a righteous member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I wish I didn't have to do this. It shouldn't even be an issue. I don't want to offend anyone. That's not my purpose. But I cannot let this hatred and misinformation continue and then stand blameless before God at the last day. And so I bear this witness.

If I Could Change The World

Okay, first a word of explanation. I've started three different posts since the last one I posted and I can't finish a single one of them. They've all just been too horribly depressing. I've been kind of pessimistic apparently and I couldn't publish anything like that without feeling like I was completely ruining my credentials (of which I actually have none but that's besides the point).

So I'd been thinking about an entirely new topic--drug testing for welfare recipients--but it was getting depressing just researching and without having written a word. So I decided on something else: 

The welfare system in it's entirety. 

Now you're probably thinking, "Because this is going to be sooooo much happier than anything else you'd talk about", but I think it will be. Because instead of pointing out all of the welfare systems many problems, I'm just going to offer a solution. 

When you are faced with a crisis, a tragedy, or something else equally devastating in your life, there is an order to the help you should be receiving. 

First, yourself. No one is better equipped to help you than yourself. No one will be more accountable to your actions than yourself. So first, do all that you can. 

Second, your family. There's a reason we have families. They know us best and are usually closest and love us most no matter how stupid we are sometimes. Now I will allow for the fact that sometimes our families are worse off than we are and sometimes our families aren't supportive or reliable like they probably should be, but if at all possible your family should be your second line of help and defense. 

Third, your church. If you don't have a church or just don't have a helpful church then I guess you can skip this part. In my case, the members of my church are some of the most helpful, caring, and compassionate people I have ever happened upon. Time and time again I have seen these people rise magnificently to a cry for help whether that be a death, an illness, or just a bad day. 

Fourth, your community. There are institutions in place for the betterment of society. Thrift stores like Goodwill, Salvation Army, or DAV; The Lord's Diner and various soup kitchens; homeless shelters, NHS, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, Red Cross. These are organizations that are designed to help people. They cannot do everything for you or for anyone else, but they can help. 

Fifth, and finally, and really only maybe, is the government. Obviously it's not working out so hot now, so I don't really know why anyone considers this a viable option. After all the money being given out by the government is really just ours. 

So here's my solution. We do away with the welfare system. Completely. And people get back to giving. I'm probably in a unique position being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I pay a  10% tithe on everything I make because I want to and, because we have no paid ministry and because we have such excellent financial department, a lot of that money can go towards helping other people. 

We have a Bishop's Storehouse and Welfare Square which provide food and basic needs items for those in need of assistance, the Perpetual Education Fund which allows people to rise out of poverty through education, the Church Welfare Program which has been serving others for 75 years. There are classes on provident living and self-reliance. The Church has an entire program called Humanitarian Services which includes among other things Emergency Response, The Clean Water Service, and Wheelchair Distribution.  In addition to tithes, I pay whatever else I feel that I can to help with various other causes.

I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. I'm not really doing much. I'm doing just fine without 10-15% of my income and look what the combined efforts of so many others doing the same thing can accomplish. I'm not trying to show off what I'm doing (if anything I'm showing off what the Church does...). But I'm trying to show what we can do. People can make a difference. A much bigger and better difference than any the government can make when it comes to helping people. 

I am charging you with a solemn responsibility. To stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about others. To start helping and giving and sharing and serving. I can promise you with absolute conviction that by doing so, not only will you better the lives of others but you will find yourself bolstered up and your burdens lifted. You will be happier, those you serve will be happier, and the world will become a better place one act of service at a time.

A man decided that he would change the world.
But, he wasn’t successful.
So he decided to change the country.
But, he wasn’t successful.
So he decided to change his community.
But, he wasn’t successful.
So he decided to change his street.
But, be wasn’t successful.
So he decided to change his family.
But, he wasn’t successful.
So he decided to change himself.
AND HE WAS SUCCESSFUL.
AND HIS FAMILY CHANGED AND THEY AFFECTED THEIR STREET.
AND THE PEOPLE ON THE STREET AFFECTED THEIR COMMUNITY.
AND THE PEOPLE OF THE COMMUNITY AFFECTED THEIR COUNTRY.
AND THE PEOPLE OF THE COUNTRY AFFECTED THE WORLD.

One Nation, Under God

Maybe I should start this post with a disclaimer. I'm right. And I'm going to be blunt about it. End of story.

In today's society it has become socially unacceptable to be religious. Look at the mockery made of Tim Tebow. Look at the fight to change the Pledge of Allegiance. Look at what we're taught in schools about the founding fathers and the creation of this nation.

In my US History class we were taught that the founding fathers were polytheists, thus removing any real reliance on that one higher being who was at the helm of the formation of this country.

Look at science. It seems that every new discovery is immediately turned into a debacle of science versus religion whether by the media or the scientists themselves. Maybe we should focus on solving more problems instead.

Anyways, what I find ironic about this entire situation is that religion is the only reason our society has any sort of honest and good traits.

I'm sure some think that's a load of crock, but people are not naturally good. I can't say I'm naturally inclined to turn the other cheek or help someone I don't know or give up my time and resources and talents to something that might not be at the top of my to-do list.

But I do it anyways. Why? Because I live my life in such a way that I will be unashamed to stand before God at the last day and declare that I have done all I can do.

So, going back to society at large...while lots of people follow those inclinations to not help or turn the other cheek, etc. they don't completely act like heathens either. Murder is not viewed as acceptable. Neither is stealing. Adultery. Abuse. Lying. Cheating. Smuggling drugs. You get the idea.

And yet again, why? Why aren't these things socially acceptable?

I find it ironic that the world will take the Lord's precepts and commandments without accepting that they are His. And in my opinion someday the world will have to answer for that. In the meantime it gives you something to think about. Enjoy and (for those of you in my position) good luck on finals!